people often think that I am all about winning because I win a lot of
races... that is wrong, I am all about developing athletes and people, and
winning is a by-product of your enthusiasm and your efforts.  The result of
the race is not that important to me, the process and the growth is.  For
example, last spring the varsity girls finished 7th in the nation... I was
so happy and so proud, you would have thought we were first.  It mattered
more to me that the girls began the season with one picture of themselves
and finished with a greater knowledge of their potential.  Their picture
went from a 2 dimensional black and white painting to a finely carved
sculpture.  They realized the depth of their character and their ability,
they learned about themselves and their potential and they gained tremendous
confidence.  THAT is what is important to me, NOT the medals, the medals
will always be determined by who else happens to show up at the race.  The
process of discovering yourself and the depth of your beauty and strength as
an individual and as a group cannot be taken away by another crew.  That is
yours...FOREVER.  So, I encourage you to be unafraid to explore yourself.
Try leaving your comfort zone, Try demanding a little more, don't be afraid
to search for more.  There is power and beauty and strength and character
inside all of you, and it is behind doors that are a little difficult to
open.  I picture a long dark hallway inside each of us.  In the hallway
there are doors, behind which are character traits and all those little
things that make us individuals.  It is scary to walk down the dark hallway
and open doors that you don't know what is on the other side, but it is
worth it.  That is the beauty of crew, you have teammates to help you along
in that journey, (and I like to think that my coaching helps you as well)  I
try not to push you too hard because I know it is scary (sometimes I do a
good job, sometimes I don't.  We all make mistakes occasionally)  So, an
important part of my goal is fostering an atmosphere in which you feel
comfortable to open those doors.  This is as much up to you as it is up to
me.  I really want you to think about that when dealing with your teammates.
Gently encourage them to open doors, and celebrate with them when they do...
even if they find something on the other side of the door that is very
different than what is behind your door, you must celebrate the fact that
they are discovering things about themselves, and that their inner strengths
and beauties are being uncovered and bringing depth and detail to them as
they grow.  Even as you encourage each other to be unafraid to walk into the
unknown, remember that it is scary... sometimes we find out things about
ourselves that we want to work on... that is ok as well.  Don't be afraid of
that.  When I first started rowing of course I didn't know anything about
myself, in fact I had a lot of false ideas about myself and I had a lot of
things that I tried to convince myself were true, just because society told
me that was the way to be.  Well, after I began learning how to push myself
I started opening doors to truths about myself, some that brought me
confidence and made me feel of great worth, and some things that I really
wanted to change.  I remember specifically about 1300 meters into a race vs.
Hobart, I pushed myself harder than I ever had, and we were losing pretty
bad.  I opened a door and found that when I was behind, I didn't want to
push myself any more.  I wanted to give up.  That was the worst experience I
have ever had in opening a door... but you know what... I decided that day
that I would make that my goal to develop myself in that area.  I was not
happy to learn that I had that tendency, but I was glad to know the truth
about it rather than lying to myself.  Once I knew the truth, I started to
work on it every day.  I pushed myself to that point where I had to open
that same door as often as I could (I think that is why i am so excited by
the negative split piece ... you start off behind, and you have to open that
 very door)  Well, it took me a long time to deal with that monster behind
the door, but I truly believe I came out a better person for it... I won't
say I am perfect in that area, but I recognize when the door is opened and I
battle tooth and nail every time.  I never make excuses and I never lie to
myself.  I am very proud of myself for the improvements that I have made in
that area, and that, in itself, brings depth to my character.  Now, I don't
mean to harp on the door which presents a battle, I just wanted to let you
know that although it is scary, even if you don't like what you see, it can
be a gratifying experience.  90% of the doors that we open are not scary at
all, in fact, as soon as we open them, we are very happy that we did.  One
of those doors for me was with my closed, quiet personality, when I joined
the crew team, at first i just showed up and rowed and then left and didn't
really talk to anyone and didn't let anyone get to know me.  As I grew and
explored the dark hallway I began to feel more comfortable (I thank my
teammates for that as well) and I began to open up with my personality and I
found leadership qualities in myself that I never knew I had.  I am still
not a very boisterous person, but I am very happy that I opened some doors
and got to know some people and began to encourage people and began to bring
my own style of leadership out from behind the doors.  I know this is
getting long and the metaphor is really carrying out a little too far, but
this is something that I am truly passionate about, and I wish I could just
be sure you all understood what I am talking about.  If you really
understand this, you would understand when I say that we could row a whole
season and never even go to a race and we could have the most successful
season ever... in the same respect, we could win every race we go to and not
learn a thing.  The reason I like going to races is not to win, but for a
little extra incentive to open the doors.  Of course part of what I do as a
coach is to make boats go fast, and I won't lie and say that I haven't been
blinded at times by the medals, because I have, and I have learned lessons
from that.  In my heart, I truly believe that the process is much more
important than the result.  My prayer is that you all can understand this
even better than I, and I ask you all to pray that my eyes can stay focused
on the process when the gleam of the medals catches my eye.  (you all make
this hard for me because you are so good! the gleam of the medals is always
there - like that person who drives behind you with their high beams on)

So, I rambled on again.  Anytime I start writing about crew I tend to do
that.  I hope you all can bear with me every once in a while.

In conclusion...
1) lets have an atmosphere that is accepting and encouraging so people feel
safe enough to open doors
2) lets make a conscious effort to open doors.  Leave your comfort zone and
be unafraid to explore
3) Celebrate the process of discovery, and the depth it brings rather than
the result of any particular race
4) Understand that when I am pushing you, it is to get you to walk down the
dark hallway and open the doors, and if I push you some more, it is to get
you to keep on going back to the door which presents a challenge and putting
up the good fight.
5) My work is finished when you are completely truthful with yourself, and
you love who you are (not when you win the championship)
6) Remember, we all make mistakes, and opening doors is scary for
everyone... as a team, lets be gently encouraging, and very forgiving every
single day.

CAT